I haven't been posting much this last week, not only due to painting, cleaning and working, but also because the Dude is having a few health issues. Tomorrow he has to go get some cancer cut out of his ear. He burned it quite badly a few years ago while doing some welding and the burn turned cancerous. His old dermatologist cut it off a few times, but it kept coming back. We got a referral to a specialist and they do a different procedure. He has to stay all day and they cut out a little at a time and biopsy it until they get a clean read. I have every confidence that it will be taken care of this time.
We also visited the doctor tonight as the problem that I posted about right after Valentine's Day has reoccurred. The swelling isn't there, but a lot of pain and pressure. She referred him to a urologist (sp) but he isn't able to get in for 2 weeks. She didn't want to speculate on what it could be as she does general medicine and specializes in asthma (my problem). It could be a hernia, it could be something with his prostrate, it could be a host of things.
I'm a pretty strong person. Whenever we have run into bad luck or when I have been the one with health issues, I just kind of dig my feet in and say 'okay, well it can only get better from here. What is our next step.' Now I'm not feeling too strong. Whenever I think of the things I want to do or try or places I want to go, I think as 'we' not 'me'. And while I'm sure the doctor will find nothing that can't be fixed or solved, there is that little annoying twitch in the back of my head that says 'what if?' What if it is something big? What if something happens and I'm left here alone? What happens with our plans of grand vacations when we are empty nesters and the smaller house in town we want to buy?
What happens isn't up to me and I have to have a little more faith, but right now-for this few minutes, I'm scared and feeling a little sorry for myself.
Thanks for indulging me and my little pity party.
I'll have food tomorrow. He'll be gone all day, the kids will be at school so it will be the perfect day to take out a little angst in the kitchen.
And on a lighter note, one of our friends fell in love with a stripper on his trip to Mexico last week. Oh honey-c'mon. I know a nice Lutheran girl who can save your life if you are in a car accident and keeps her clothes on for a good portion of the day!