Monday, March 30, 2009

He's the love of my life






I haven't been posting much this last week, not only due to painting, cleaning and working, but also because the Dude is having a few health issues. Tomorrow he has to go get some cancer cut out of his ear. He burned it quite badly a few years ago while doing some welding and the burn turned cancerous. His old dermatologist cut it off a few times, but it kept coming back. We got a referral to a specialist and they do a different procedure. He has to stay all day and they cut out a little at a time and biopsy it until they get a clean read. I have every confidence that it will be taken care of this time.


We also visited the doctor tonight as the problem that I posted about right after Valentine's Day has reoccurred. The swelling isn't there, but a lot of pain and pressure. She referred him to a urologist (sp) but he isn't able to get in for 2 weeks. She didn't want to speculate on what it could be as she does general medicine and specializes in asthma (my problem). It could be a hernia, it could be something with his prostrate, it could be a host of things.


I'm a pretty strong person. Whenever we have run into bad luck or when I have been the one with health issues, I just kind of dig my feet in and say 'okay, well it can only get better from here. What is our next step.' Now I'm not feeling too strong. Whenever I think of the things I want to do or try or places I want to go, I think as 'we' not 'me'. And while I'm sure the doctor will find nothing that can't be fixed or solved, there is that little annoying twitch in the back of my head that says 'what if?' What if it is something big? What if something happens and I'm left here alone? What happens with our plans of grand vacations when we are empty nesters and the smaller house in town we want to buy?


What happens isn't up to me and I have to have a little more faith, but right now-for this few minutes, I'm scared and feeling a little sorry for myself.


Thanks for indulging me and my little pity party.


I'll have food tomorrow. He'll be gone all day, the kids will be at school so it will be the perfect day to take out a little angst in the kitchen.


And on a lighter note, one of our friends fell in love with a stripper on his trip to Mexico last week. Oh honey-c'mon. I know a nice Lutheran girl who can save your life if you are in a car accident and keeps her clothes on for a good portion of the day!

12 comments:

noble pig said...

We have faced a lot of health hurdles in our house and it can be scary. But you cannot dwell as hard as it is. I hope all goes well.

Donna-FFW said...

My thoughts are with you Tamilyn.. have missed you. I am not doing as much either right now as there is some stuff going on here as well.. Keep strong and if u everwant to talk, throw me an email!

Katherine Aucoin said...

I'll keep you and Dude in my thoughts and prayers. I'll keep checking in to see how you are; I hope that all will be well soon!

Heather said...

I'll keep your husband in my thoughts and prayers. I hope it goes well.

Happy cook said...

I hope your husband recover soon and he will be in my prayers too.

Pam said...

I am sending positive thoughts to you and your husband.

avesta said...

I hope all turns out well and that you have positive and healthy years ahead of you! Stay strong!

And when you really need it...eat a couple cookies and drink a strong martini! :)

Bob said...

{{tamilyn}} I'm sure everything will turn out fine. :)

jancd said...

This is the first time I've read your blog, but I do feel your fear. My kids call me "High Anxiety" mom. And yet I have a deep faith in God and his ability to see me through these tough times. Most of the times, my anxiety is in my head and not what is really happening. So I will keep you and your husband in my prayers tonight and in the days to come and will check back with you.

Dawn said...

Oh dear, sorry I didn't get to this sooner. Sorry you and the hubby have to go through this. I will keep your family in thoughts today and send positive thoughts out.

Spryte said...

*hug*

Rindy R said...

Hope all goes well with your hubby. I am a breast cancer survivor myself- and my dad always told me - Don't work on problems you don't have! Every step of the way I only thought about that day - It really helped! Good Luck and God Bless!